thought salad: December 2011

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Opportunity: It Never Knocks Twice… Or So They Say

Opportunity: It Never Knocks Twice&hellip; Or So They Say

Is the old cliche true? Does opportunity not knock twice?? Is that our experience in our day to day life?? Why do so many people believe this “truism”? Why is it taught at the management schools??

I sat at the table, looked around, the hustle and bustle from 10 min back was replaced by an almost pin drop silence. The only noise was that of the cutlery on the dishes as people quickly munched on the Christmas dinner. How many Christmas dinners can I have before I call it a day?? This was my second for the day and 8th in as many days. I sipped on the wine and what fine wine it was! Needless to say I had plenty to drink and was revelling in the Christmas spirit. I said good bye to my friends and as I got out ( stumbled !! ) of the restaurant I realised that I was way too drunk to be driving. Now this restaurant is right in the city centre so I decided to stay at the bus stop right outside the restaurant and take the ride back home. Just as I was deciding to take the bus one went by right in front of my eyes! What timing I said to myself. The public transport in Belfast can be dodgy even at the best of times, and 15 min into my wait I realised that waiting for another bus on Christmas eve might not be my best option ( 25th obviously was a holiday even for the buses! ) and looked over my shoulder to see if there was a taxi in sight. None. So I did what every tech savvy person would do. I googled Belfast taxi and started systematically calling each number that came up in search. After about 10 calls I had given up the ghost and was almost ready to start walking home ( 2 miles in sub zero temperatures and bone chilling winds! ) when the pink and white angle ( yes it is pink ) trudged to a halt at the pole and the doors ( to heaven ) opened. One to city centre I said and off we went. Now this seemingly boring sequence of events may not sound or feel as eye-catching as some of the other things that we experience in life, but in the space of 20 minutes I had gone from “Ah what an opportunity squandered”, “I am never at the right place at the right time” to ” you beauty, good thinking”, “well done”. On reflection this is pretty much the story of life. I have been part of so many, ‘if only I had taken that decision’ or ‘if only I had done that then things would have been different’, ‘opportunity never knocks twice’ chats that I have almost accepted it as a part of life. But that night ( may be it was Christmas that made me think more?? Did I hear any one say the wine?? ) all I could think was that I might have been out in the cold had I not waited at the bus stop trying to call a taxi. So then, is it right that opportunity does not knock twice? Do you have to be at the right place at the right time to get ‘lucky’?

I have had many a chats with my friends on this topic. Grab the opportunity by both hands when it presents itself, cause it never knocks on your door twice is one of the most used clichés in the management world. I have already made my thoughts clear on the management world in some of my blogs ( http://bizcovering.com/management/leadership-lead-by-example-naaaah/ and http://bizcovering.com/management/team-work-2/ ) and I hold the view that no one can be taught management. It is to be learnt, the hard way in the school of EXPERIENCE! Coming back to the topic, so then if I think opportunity does come your way again and again, whats all the fuss about? To be very blunt, I think it is a very nice way of making money of people who are already under the cosh! I believe that being at the right place is very important but not necessarily at the right time, cause that is then down to luck. People who work hard and be at it, show patience will get many opportunities and as long as they are in the right place, there will always be that next bus!

I am a big fan of people who have made something out of nothing! No, I am not talking about magic here. I am talking about people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc. These people did not depend on the government handouts or any other charity for that matter. They showed lots of dedication and hard-work. Infact the example of Steve Jobs first run at Apple ( Macintosh etc. ) is the best example of someone at the right place and having patience to wait for the right time and opportunity to come and knock on the door again ( ipod ) and again ( iphone )!! The story of the legendary bollywood actor Amitabh Bachchan and his second coming through the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire has achieved folklore status, is just another example.

I am also completely unimpressed by people on state benefits ( jobless allowance ). It is almost in fashion today to say that this is due to the lack of opportunity!! This to me a slap across the face to all those hard working men and women who went out there searched far and wide and got whatever they could. Any one who waits and thinks that right place and right time are necessary, will more often be found in the dole queue explaining to others how he missed the opportunity of a life time. Also, a quick mention to what I alluded to earlier in the blog, experience is the key. You don’t get it unless you put in the hard yards, and with experience come opportunities. So my logic is pretty easy, don’t wait for the best thing to fall into your lap. Start with whatever, remember, being at the right place is more important ( not necessarily right time!! ) and with experience will come opportunities. To take a bus, being at the bus stop is important, that however doesn’t mean you stop calling for the taxis, that option is always open!!!

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Thursday, 22 December 2011

Greed: 99% vs. 1% or 99% Who Failed to Make It to 1%??

Are we IN midst of a major social battle? Is the 99% Vs 1% occupy campaing worth its salt? Is the purpose misplaced? If the rich are greedy, are the poor( not rich) any better? were rules( unwritten) broken on both sides?? Have we conviniently forgotton that it was our greed( along with others) that is responsible for current situation?

I love bar natter. It is almost impossible to predict what you will be talking to a person at a bar let alone who you will be talking to! It might be a 65 year old pensioner, a 40 something Irish dancer or a 22 year old hot girl! To make things clear from the outset, I am just as comfortable talking to all, no preferences ( well….. that may not necessarily be the whole truth but for the sake of this blog, lets assume my statement as ultimate truth and move on ). Also, the range of subject not only amuses me but sometimes even truly baffles me. Politics, religion, rich and poor, dictators, tyrants, conditions of the hospitals, weird things and experience around the world, culture and the list goes on. But I have a funny feeling that I don’t need to stress anymore on this topic as almost everyone of us have had one ( actually many ) of these over the years and dare I say will have many in years to come. It was just one of those damp cold night in the city of Belfast ( I know I am not being specific as this description fits 350 out of the 365 days in a year! ) and I found myself with my friends in one of our favourite bars. Unfortunately, I had a long day at work and had driven straight from work to the bar and so had to keep myself away from the ever so tempting pint of Guinness. Being sober in a bar at 8 o clock is not so bad, but when its close to midnight, its torture!!! Clearly my friends were having a lot better time then I was J. I started to look around to see if I could find anyone who was having as ‘good’ a time as I was and a girl caught my eye. She was I thought mid – late 20s and from the looks of it, was designated driver for the night. I said ‘Hi’ and to cut long story short after a few pleasantries we got talking. Just when you thought you have seen everything in life, life throws a curve ball at you! The girl was an activist and was part of the occupy Belfast campaign ( inspired from the occupy wall street campaign ). You know where I am going with this don’t you. Lets just say the talk wasn’t the typical bar talk about likes and dislikes.

As much as I was trying to skirt around the issue, curiosity got the better of me and after a few minutes of chit chat I asked her what was the purpose of this campaign?? The answer I got was in many ways not what I expected. The campaign was aimed at the council authorities that were going to enforce cutbacks in their yearly budgets to charitable institutions jobseekers allowance etc. I like people who are driven by causes and hence there was something innately likable about this girl. But then again I am a man of firm thoughts and have my own belief structure so I couldn’t help but question some of the things that she was saying. I asked her so what exactly is this demonstration aimed at? She said that just like in America, it was the 99% telling the 1% that cutbacks that hurt the poor the most are not the solution to the problem. Now I was not going to argue that the poor people should be in anyway taxed more or that their government supplies should be cut etc. but I thought she ( and most other who are debating on this topic ) aren’t looking at both sides of the coin. Most people are looking at the ‘have nots’ and blaming the ‘haves’ for all the trouble. Now althought there is some element of truth in that I am not totally convinced that a sweeping statement against every rich ( or poor ) person is the answer.

Our chat invariably led us to the 2007 crash and the repercussions of the same that are being felt even today. So I asked her, who do you blame for the crash and without a moments hesitation came the answer BANKERS ( she called them Banksters, implied reference to ‘mobsters’ ). Now I asked her how do you think they are responsible for that? She said that they gave loans to people who could not afford it ( teaser rates on home loans that were low to start with and shot up in 2-3 yrs ) and as a result there were foreclosures and people lost their hard earned life savings while they made their money on commissions and got rich. Now there is not much there that I can disagree with. As a matter of fact, I have no doubt that this is what happened. I have seen and read a lot on this topic, enough to know that even people who were in prison somehow managed to get mortgages!!! But the point is, did the bankers or estate agents put a gun to anyone’s head and ask them to sign on dotted lines accepting the mortgage? Even if there have been isolated incidents when this happened ( I don’t know may be may not be ) it is hard to believe that all the mortgages signed all across America ( or the world for that matter! ) were done in this fashion. So then the question remains, that yes the bankers were giving loans to people who didn’t deserve it and that they were greedy, raking up their commissions in the process, but didn’t people who signed up to these mortgages have any responsibility? Should they not have been more careful ( and realistic ) about their financial position and ability to pay back the mortgage?? So if it is a question of greed, who’s greed was greater, the one who offered the loan or the one who accepted it knowing that it is a big risk?? I have talked about unwritten rules that we follow in one of my previous blogs ( Rules: Are They Made Just So That They Can be Broken?? http://is.gd/4BI6Fb ) and it is sufficient to say that unwritten rules were broken on both sides and the reason was greed.

I am aware that after reading this some of you might think that I am playing the devils advocate in this blog. But its not just that. I genuinely believe that the demostrators are missing the point and that instead of blaming everyone left right centre, people should accept responsibility of what happened. Remember the rich were rich even before all this happened, and probably will stay rich long after. The choices are to keep looking and them and feel sad about your life or find a new way to look at it and try to be happy. What do my good readers think? Would love to hear from you.

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Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Consumer Debt: Modern Day Slavery??

It was the late Friday afternoon. I was just returning home from a gruelling day of work and all I could think about was a nice cool beer and a natter with the friends. Little did I know that the weekend what the rest of the day had instore for me! I remember clearly, at about 5.00 clock I got a call from my friend. The voice on the other side was not the usual jovial one and just as we were exchanging pleasantries it was clear to me that the news wasn’t good. “ So tell me whats the problem” said I. I heard a deep sigh on the other side of the phone, “ how do you know about the it”?? “I don’t” I said, “but clearly this is not the normal you that I am used to listening, so go on and tell me” and then she said the dreaded words, “ my husband has got the pink slip”. I suppose in the world that we live in today this line is never our of place. Almost every conversation at the pub invariably had a so n so who lost his job just like that on a Friday afternoon without any warning, or they didn’t even bother to inform him face to face just an email or something along those lines and yet you always think it will never happen to you or anyone you know!

As I was driving to my friends place, I was not sure what I was going to say or do. I knew them for quite sometime and her husband was a very qualified software engineer with 7+ years of experience. I was sure that someone like him will always get another job! Yes, I thought, that’s what I am going to say to him. It’s a temporary blip, people like him don’t remain unemployed for a long time. Also, I thought to myself, he was very well paid ( or so I presumed ) and must have recourses at his disposal. I thought to myself, if I lose my job today, I would think on the same lines. I have enough savings to keep me going for about 3-4 months and then I can always find something as a stop gap arrangement if I don’t get what I want right away. With all these thoughts racing through my head, I reached their house, quickly parked my car alongside his BMW. Even as I was doing that. I thought, look at this he is my age and has done so much better than me. He has a great car, a house of his own, goes for holidays twice a year, has a lovely wife, he will get through this ok. And its probably this though process that accentuated the impact of what I was going to see next.

My friends husband was already drunk. As I entered the house, she said to me that he is going through the motions and is oscillating between declaring that he never wanted to do that job ‘good riddance’ to his life has been destroyed and that he will never be the same man! He was also shouting at my friend calling her names and blaming everyone who was in the house ( his family and close friends ) for the mess that he was in! I know this man for the last few years and I was almost dumbstruck at how he was behaving. I went into the room, and tried to calm him down. I held him with both hands, then gave him a hug and asked him one simple question “ whats bothering you the most”? You are a well educated well qualified engineer with lots of experience under your belt, you will always get a new job, so why are you behaving as it the world as you know it has come to an end!? Now I agree it wasn’t the most appropriate question in the circumstances, but I thought someone had to knock some sense into him as his behaviour was freaking out his wife and parents. Two mugs of black coffee later he said to me that he never liked this job, infact he hated it and yet he went there day after day for the last 7 years, endured his boss ( who according to him was barely human! ) all so that he can have a good life. I looked around at his house and at this point I had to say “ So what’s the problem? Look around you don’t you think you have everything you want? You can always get a new job and everything will be just as before”? And that’s when I realised what the real problem was. He said to me that everything in the house was bought on EMIs ( easy monthly instalments ) and that he is going to lose everything if the bills weren’t paid in a weeks time. This unfortunately wasn’t the worst of the declarations, he had a credit card balance £8000 outstanding ( at 24% = £160 a month just in interest). Every electronic thing in his house was on pay monthly basis through the store cards ( yes even his Ipod! ). Even the furniture and cutlery weren’t bought by paying the full sticker price! Also the big ticket items like house and BMW were on monthly instalments. He said to me that he hated his job so much that every day when he got up, his wife had to push him out of the house. Everytime his boss shouted at him, made him work long hours on short notice, he did it because he knew even a month without the job meant that he will lose ‘everything’. He always wanted to start his own business but never had the capital or time to do it. And now after all those years of torture, the one thing that he thought he was doing it for was taken away from him even without a weeks notice! The whole evening passed listening to how his life was miserable and how helpless he felt doing that job.

On my way back to my house, I could not help thinking how a man earning upwards of £3000 per month still thought that the day he lost his job was the day he lost everything? More so, I couldn’t stop thinking about why he kept doing a job ( under a tyrant boss ) that he so clearly disliked? And the only answer to all this was consumer debt!! Like most of us, my friends husband did not think twice before buying almost everything on EMIs. Yes, they had even bought their yearly holidays ( two a year!! ) on EMIs from a reputed travel company. The consumer debt he had taken was so huge that leaving his job ( actually the very thought of not having a salary at the end of the next month ) was never and option, he couldn’t ‘afford’ it. I couldn’t help but wonder, are modern families equivalent of slaves from the middle ages?

By definition ‘Slave: A person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them’. Now I know some of you may think that comparing a well paid engineer to a slave is one step to far, but please hear me out. In the middle ages the slaves were made to work long hard hours and in return all they got was enough to keep them alive. They never had the time to express themselves or manifest their creativity in any way. I have already written about why most people tend to hate Monday (http://socyberty.com/issues/monday-a-love-hate-mostly-hate-affair/ ) so I will not go into details of that here. Also, when I wrote about the pleasures of life (http://socyberty.com/philosophy/pleasure-the-essence-of-good-life/ ), I have said that getting rid of the 9-5 routine is one of the goals of my life and there are lessons from this story that I will try and learn and hopefully not emulate. Coming back to the point, as far fetched as it sounds I think that’s what modern day consumerism is doing to people like my friends husband. The social pressures of ‘having it all’ are making us slaves to our jobs and indeed our bosses and organisations ( many people take loans from their organisations and are then required to serve them until the loan is paid back ) and killing our creativity and individualism in the process. We are becoming less and less human and more and more like machines, a cog in the wheel that keeps turning day after day! Most people that I know, their only way out is retirement and the money they get after retirement! Is there any other way out?? I think there is, and I will make it the topic of one of my blogs to follow.

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Sunday, 18 December 2011

Attitude: Ambrosia of Winners??

What is attitude? Is positive attitude necessary for winning? Do circumstances dictate attitude? Is positive attitude cause or effect of a winners mindset?

Staring at the light overhead I stood there cursing. I had just missed a shot, an easy one at that. The score line was daunting and inspite of all the exhaustion and pain endured over the last hour and half, all that mattered were the next two points! How do I play my next point, how do I get over the agony of missing a straight forward shot, how do I interact with my partner? What is he thinking right now? So many things to consider before I take my position on court to play the next point. And yet as I looked over my shoulder trudging back to my mark, I saw the steely look in my partners eyes, a look that said, I know you are tired, but you better not give up on me now!! It was so intense that for a moment I forgot that its only a game of badminton, but boy it could well have been WAR!!! I knew then, no matter how tired I felt, I had to pick myself up. I have to give it my 100% for my partner was not taking no for an answer. In a strange way it inspired me. I took those precious extra seconds to gather my thoughts and stood there to play the next point. As luck would have it, the pair on the other side were just as tired as we were and two unforced errors were made giving us the match. I saw my partner clench his fists in delight. All that stern determination was gone replaced by pure joy. He was actually more relieved then happy and there I was right next to him thinking that I was so tired 2 minutes back and here I am jumping up and down with joy! We live life for moments like these and yet as I was walking away from the court, all I could think about is how that one look from my partner made me stay on the court and put in that extra effort. I had always wondered what made winners different from the others, and here the answer was starting me right into the eye. Its this magic word ATTITUDE!!

I had written earlier about a management seminar that I attended and how they discussed about team work ( http://bizcovering.com/management/team-work-2/) and Leadership ( http://bizcovering.com/management/leadership-lead-by-example-naaaah/ ) qualities. Attitude or to be more specific positive attitude was often listed as one of the qualities of a good Leader and strangely attitude was important for being a good team member! So is positive attitude important to be successful? In a simple world, the answer would be a plain and simple and an overwhelming YES! However, life is never so black and white. I think too often we tend to take parallels from the world of sports or army ( highly organised group ) as anecdotal evidence for the recipe of success and based on that it is easy to conclude that a positive attitude is a must for success. Life in general though is never so straight forward and more often then not has shades of grey. One of the popular joke to explain the positive attitude of managers is that they think that if one lady can get pregnant and deliver in approx 9 months then two can do it in 4.5 months!!! I don’t think I need to elaborate the scenarios in office when the ‘positive’ attitude of bosses often ends up upsetting the employees and creating an environment of discontent!

Your attitude towards life is a good reflection of your state of mind. Circumstances often play a role in moulding the attitude of individuals. Each person follows a different path in life and its his or her experience that often reflects their decisions and is often wrongly interpreted as their attitude towards life. So then the big question is can attitude be developed? Or is it a personality trait? Can a person be moulded into thinking in a particular manner? Can we be ‘programmed’ for success? If I were to a classic cause effect analysis, I think winners develop a positive attitude and not vice versa. I know it’s a wee bit controversial to say that cause since we were kids we were told that attitude is what separates winners from losers. I think the thing that makes anyone a winner is practice! As mundane as it sounds, that is exactly what it is! It is often said that some people just have the right attitude that is necessary to become a winner and I think this myth is one that has perpetrated into the inner sanctum of our society and our minds. And I for one don’t buy it.

I later asked my badminton partner what made him behave the way he did and did he know that it inspired me? He said he wasn’t sure. But the more he played and the more he won, the more he wanted to win! And as he tasted success and got into the habit of winning positive attitude followed. What I learnt from this and many other experiences is that attitude doesn’t make winner, but it helps sustain them! It is therefore more important to be good at what you do and make winning a habit, positive attitude will follow. Am I right in thinking this? What do my readers think?

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Disclaimer: No attitudes were hurt in the creation of this blog. The writer does not have an ‘attitude’ and any suggestions about the same will not be tolerated :p No animals were hurt in the game of badminton as the shuttle used was a plastic one.

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Pleasure: The Essence of Good Life?

What is good life? Shouldn’t pleasure in life be the only driving force behind all the activities undertake? Why is seeking pleasure in life almost a taboo in the society? Can we live life by doing activities purely based on pleasure?

I looked up wiping the sweat of my eyebrows. The summit was no where in sight. I looked down at my feet which by this time were shaking and paining. There were bruises on the side of my legs. My knees as well as my back were hurting. I looked up at my fellow hikers and almost felt a sense of relief when I saw them to be roughly in the same sort of condition as me. But onwards we marched and with each step that I took I was ever so close to the place where we all were going to sit down and have some lunch! Oh the Lunch!!! When I was packing it that morning, I had no idea that it was going to taste like heaven, infact, the very thought of having it at some point was practically the only thing that was still keeping me up on my legs. I took a deep breath and thought to myself, this happens to me almost everytime I go on a hike. I suffer, I endure the pain and I make promises to myself that I will never ever put my body on the line again and yet week after week I find myself with the same bunch of people up a mountain. The chain of thoughts was broken by the declaration by the group leader that we were at our destination and that it was time to rest! Its only then that I realised that this was such a nice day, a rarity in this part of the world. The sun was shining and the birds were chirpy and the view…. Well what a view! Pure bliss J I am posting a picture of it. Hope you all enjoy it just as much as I did. Though I must say the lens hasn’t done justice to the actual view that was on offer.

We settled down and in about 15 min with enough food and hot coffee in me, I was up on my feet and ready to enjoy the nature around me. All the thoughts of being out of breath, extremely tired etc. were a distant memory. I took a deep breath and as I was letting it out slowly, my friend said to me that I looked so happy. My face had lit up and that he couldn’t believe that I was the same guy who was huffing and puffing all the way up about 15-20 minutes back! And indeed he was right! The only feeling I had at that time was the one of pleasure. I settled down again to finish my lunch but couldn’t help thinking about the chain of events and how this happens to me almost every time I hike! Why is it that something that is so hard on my body and causes so much pain eventually ends up giving me a lot of pleasure? Why is it so important that everytime I promise myself to not do it and yet something draws me towards it?

I think the important question that I want to ask my readers through the medium of this blog is that most of us know what gives us pleasure and yet why is it that we end up doing things that annoy us? Most of us don’t like a 9-5 job and yet we spend years getting an ‘education’ that essentially is prepping us for that ( I have already written on this topic in my blog Monday http://socyberty.com/issues/monday-a-love-hate-mostly-hate-affair/ ). This is just one phase of life, but if we look at life as whole, if feels almost every aspect of our lives has been predefinedpain ( by whom? Did they ask us? Does it please us? ). If you are a pre-teen: go to school, teen: go to high school, 20 something: get a job, build a career, support your parents, get married, get a house ( more like get a mortgage! ), 30 something: save for the kids, think about the future etc. I can go on and on but I think you get the point. So the question is if we didn’t set this routine ( for life!! ) and we do not get any pleasure following it, then why do we do it? More importantly should we do it?? And if we are how to change it? Also, shouldn’t any activity of ours be driven by the possibility of gaining pleasure?

I think a simplistic view would be to list down the activities that give us pleasure and try and follow the list! Easier said then done? Not really! The problem is not that you cant follow the list but that you have to undo all the other activities that you are doing. Yes this might even result in a ‘drop in lifestyle’ but sooner rather than later, you will welcome the change as being happy on the inside trumps any material outwardly happiness any day of the year. Remember you don’t live your parents life, your neighbours life, your bosses life or for that matter your dogs life and if its your life then it has to be your rules and the pleasure will be all your to have! ( I have written about Rules in life in one of my earlier blogs http://hbkhrushikesh.quazen.com/arts/rules-are-they-made-just-so-that-they-can-be-broken/ so will not expand on it here )

I think there is tremendous guilt associated with striving to achieve pleasure. Infact from what I hear in my day to day life, it is associated with being selfish and inward thinking. Placing me before you is not what is acceptable to the society they say. And that living life to please the others around you is a virtue that every individual must possess. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to preach that you should do what pleases you at the expense of others. But at the same time, I want to ask, if you are not happy, what are the chances that you will please people around you? Isn’t this how most of us end up living our lives??? Displeased with our situation and passing the grief along as we go? ( Imagine a typical anger chain that exists in any office or house? )

I think hiking has changed the way I spent my weekends for the better. It started out as a trivial activity, but now is very much the poster-boy of the kind of life I envisage for myself. I have written about the joys of cooking (http://gomestic.com/cooking/cooking-2/ ) and reading books (http://socyberty.com/education/reading-books-the-lost-art/ ) I hope this is just a start and I will eventually reach my goal of getting out of the dreaded 9-5 lifestyle that I find myself in right now. Fingers crossed.

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Disclosure: All thoughts and events mentioned in this article are a figment of the authors imagination and does not endorse the opinion of his or his employers ( especially the employer, they are staunch believers in 9-5!! And yes even the picture is imaginary :p ) Any resemblance to any person living or dead is pure co – incidence. Any dis – ‘pleasure’ caused on account of this article should be reported to the author ).

Parenting: Understanding The Need to Start Early

Why are kids so good at learning? Is the modern way of “unburdening” the child to enjoy the his childhood the right way? Or as parents, should a child be exposed to as many activities as possible so that he gets the chance and choice to chose what comes naturally to him?

I am currently learning German. And needless to say, inspite of my best attempts at learning the language, ” Ich kann nicht Deutsch sprechen” ( I cannot speak German ) is one of my most frequently used line when I talk to any German. I am so bad at it that my teacher has almost give up on me. In general I have always been a good student. I have always scored decent grades. So although I am not that surprised that I cant speak German fluently ( as yet..!! ) my inability to learn anything that goes beyond the bare basics is almost inexplicable. I am not trying to boast but I can speak and write fluently in three languages ( English is not my first language ) and have put in years and years in education. Now I have my own reservations about the type of education I received and its effectiveness ( may be a topic for another blog ) but nonetheless I did get through it all without losing my mind. And yet that is preciously what I think is going to happen to me if I keep learning German ( if you can call it that! ) at this pace. This obviously raised many questions in my mind, what has changed over the years? Why is it that I could learn three languages in less than 5 years ( I was fluent in the three languages by the age of 10 ) and have since not managed to learn one more in as many years!!!??? Is it purely down to the fact that German is that hard to learn??? Or were the other languages easy?? The more I think about it, the more I realise that things have definitely changed over the years. To start with, I am not getting any younger with each passing year. However, I am not that old that I start forgetting what I had for lunch ( oh wait.. did I have lunch today??? Hhmmm I think I didn’t, ah well … no I am not starving as I write this, so may be I have ), actually to think of it I am still a young person!!! So to me the only difference between me today and me when I learnt the three languages is that I was younger then, a lot younger!!!

Don’t get confused by the title of this blog. I am not advocating that teenagers should become parents!!! J J My views on this subject could not be further away from this idea ( this is definitely a topic for one of my blogs to follow ). The point I am trying to make is, a kid has this innate ability to absorb everything that’s around him. We all tend to think that education starts when the school / nursery begins. That’s where the kids learn their A, B. Cs etc. however what we conveniently ignore is that the kid normally is already speaking by the time he goes to nursery i.e. he has learnt without any schooling and this aspect of learning is what I think is ignored by most parents. There are certain natural instincts that are gods gift to the new born baby. In one of my earlier blogs ( http://bizcovering.com/management/team-work-2/ ) I had written how I saw a bunch of kids who had met for the first time and yet were so comfortable in each others company and in many were ideal examples of team work. No one taught them that, its natural. As parents, this natural ability that each kid possess should be encouraged. Don’t wait for the kid to go to school and be ‘schooled’. This process begins from day 1! I have heard people say that if you lay too much expectations on a kid it might affect them mentally and lead to severe breakdown. Now I am not advocating management training to a 2 year old ( well I don’t advocate management training to a 30 yr old or a 40 yr old for that matter, I have made my thought clear on that subject in one of my previous blogs http://bizcovering.com/management/leadership-lead-by-example-naaaah/). All I am saying is expose the kid to as many fun activities as you can and let him make the choice of which one he likes and which one he doesn’t. Just the other day I was reading about Kutral Ramesh (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kutraleeswaran), who at the age 13 crossed the English Channel. There is no way that that young kid ever knew what he liked. I am sure that his parents encouraged him to do whatever he wanted at a very young age and swimming is what stuck with him. The merits of starting early cannot be stressed more! So my advice to all new or would be parents is expose your kids to as many activities as you can in their formative years and hope that they like something and it sticks, cause that could just be the start of a great career!

On a different note, one of my lecturers has a kid who is not 3 years old. My lecturer is English and his wife is Italian. He lives in a small village in England. I had gone to visit him the other day and to my great surprise I realised that his son did not speak a word of English but was already speaking broken Italian. I was a bit surprised by that and when I asked my lecturer how that happened, he said that since his son was born, they have made a conscious effort to talk to him in Italian ( my lecturer speaks fluent Italian ) cause he thinks that living in England his son would start speaking English sooner rather than later, this way they wont have to teach him Italian! This is definitely a lesson for me and will stay with me for the rest of my life.

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Monday: A Love-hate( Mostly Hate) Affair

Mondays are suppose to be a day for fresh starts and yet since the day I started going to nursery school I have never liked them. This article is about how even after almost three decades of existance the only thing I dream about is getting rid of the “Monday syndrome”.

I got up at 6.00 am, an hour before the alarms went off. I was deep in my thoughts the night before and hadn’t slept until late hours, so it was very unusual that I got up so early. Life was up to its usual tricks again and yes it was a start to yet another Monday. Oh Monday how I hate you from the bottom of my heart!!! Everyone keeps telling me about how a weekend is suppose to charge your batteries, how we should use it to release some steam and how it helps to make a nice fresh start to the week on a Monday. I say to all of them, what a load of bollocks!!!! I am in my office at 9.00 am on this Monday morning and all I can think about right now is …… Friday!!!! Yes folks at this point, there are absolutely no points for guessing that I am into a dead end 9-5 office job. The only time my face lights up is when I see this timer ( digital ) counting down the number of hours left for a Friday!

I have just described to you how I don’t like Mondays. Actually my love hate ( hhhmmm… just hate! ) affair with Mondays has been in full blossom since the day I started going to school. Come to think of it, I don’t think at this point of time in my life, there has been a more significant event that I have had such deep emotions for spanning over such a long time ( best part of three decades! ) and the way things stand right now, this affair is braced for some stormy weather.

The fact that Monday to Friday is 5 days and Friday to Monday is 2 days astounds me. I mean if you go from London to New York, and come back it’s the same journey either way!!!! Infact I think half of worlds problems will be solved if a day form the week is slipped between the weekend ( I propose moving Wednesday from its current position to somewhere between Saturday and Sunday ) This idea is so revolutionary that I am going to copyright it as I am sure the next American president might be elected by just hinting this in his manifesto!!

What is it about Mondays that gets so much on our nerves? I have a theory. I think it’s the fact that Monday reminds us of what lies ahead, it is the start of a dreadful phase of life that’s going to last for another 4 n half days. But I think more importantly, Mondays are all about what they make you forget. Weekends are the ‘happy hours’ of our lives. Its when we are close to our loved ones, its when we do stuff that we like to do, its when you see your kids playball, its when you meet friends that you cant meet otherwise, its when you travel, stay over, DRINK like there is no tomorrow!!! I think Monday is a crude reminder of what we could be doing all our life and what we end up doing 5/7th of it!!!!

Jokes apart, I think eradicating the ‘Monday syndrome’ is one of the greatest challenges I face in life. Can there ever be a life without Mondays? I certainly hope that the answer is in the affirmative. Infact facing upto Mondays and completely destroying them is by far the greatest of challenges that I face. Now many have said to me that eliminating Mondays would just result in a 7 day working week and yes I understand that some of the businessmen will definitely agree with this sentiment. But I still cant remove myself from this wonderland called ‘land without Mondays’. I dont care if I am the only crusader fighting this losing battle, but fight I will to bring about the change ( Obama are you listening?? ), much desired change in the way I live my life.

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Disclaimer: The thought and views expressed in this article are figments of authors imagination. They do not support or protest and weekend vs weekday movements. They are not meant to incite any hatred towards Mondays ( or any other day for that matter ). The author does not support any such actions. Any resemblance to any Mondays ( past, present or future ) is pure co – incidence.

Cooking

I have always loved cooking. Its significance in my life has changed over the years. This article is a brief summary about how I became the cook I am today.

Get the onions cut fast!! Don’t let the curry boil that much it spoils the flavour!! Ah now see, just a little bit of tomato makes all the difference, it is almost uncanny how that happens …. These and many more lines like these are etched into my memory. These are moments in life that have crystallised in my memory bank. Growing up as a kid this was probably as much interaction I had with my dad. My dad is very much a man of customs who always thought a mans roles is outside the house and that kids were the responsibility of the mother, unlike other kids, I didn’t discuss my life at school or any things else with my dad ( sports occasionally ). But one thing which was very different between my dad and most other parents with similar attitudes towards parenting was his love of cooking! My dad would spend his Sundays ( and later Wednesdays as the weekly holiday schedule changed ) in kitchen trying to cook that dish that tasted ‘just like the restaurant’. It was one activity that I could be actively part of. Infact it did rub of on me, and even to this day, I love inviting my friends over and cooking for them.

Now let me make myself clear that I love food more than I like cooking, so if any one of you reading this are thinking of inviting me, remember I am always ready to eat. But this blog is not about my love for food. I will leave that as a topic for my next blog. As I said earlier, even as a kid I always had a soft spot for cooking. I tried long and hard to replicate the recipes that my father used and to this date my food has never tasted anything like his L. However, the art of cooking was almost lost upon me by the time I reached my 20s. I lived with my parents until the age of 23 ( I know its 3-4 years too many !! ) and hence the more busy I got with life, the further I depended on my mom ( and indeed my dad ) for cooked food. All that was about to change and how!!!

I moved to England at the age of 23, and after a long, long hiatus from cooking, it dawned upon me that now this was not going to be a Sunday ‘have fun’ activity any more, it was going to be part of my day to day life and there was no getting away from it. To this day I am not sure if it’s the time required for cooking (before you can eat anything ) or the fact that the dishes that have to be done after eating that I despise more!! I think it’s the latter, but the jury is still out on that! However, in the case of me Vs cooking, there were lots of twists and turns that were yet to follow.

Being a student in my mid 20s ( as exiting as that was! ) meant that I had to do odd jobs to make ends meet. Oh well, lets just say earn a few extra quid that are necessary to have some fun in life J. My first job with food was at dominos and believe it or not in two weeks time, I was as good as any one can get making a dominos pizza!! The best part about the job was that we got a staff pizza at the end of every shift and as I worked only 2-3 hrs a day, I got to eat a dominos pizza 4 days a week. Now this was a great arrangement and I loved it at that time, but in a months time I was convinced that I liked pizza hut more than dominos! I left the job at dominos in 2 months and that was that. But come summer and I needed cash to pay for a tour of Scotland that my friends and I had planned and Pizza hut was round the corner. I took a job as driver, working 2 hours every evening. The arrangements of the job were pretty much the same and I got to eat a pizza at the end of every shift. I did this job for another two months. Now after these to short stints spread over 14 months period, I thought that I have had my moments of glory in the food industry and that this would be my lasting memory as a ‘chef’ ( Don’t laugh! At that time, I thought making pizza in a pizza shop is a considerable skill and it probably is!!! ) but that was not last tryst with the food industry! Infact I served in a proper kitchen for two years after that ( my last two years before graduating ) and to tell you the truth, I am wiser for the experience. Although I always liked to believe that I was a decent cook, it was not until I took the job as a full time Chef ( this was a weekends stint ) that I realised that its not the fun and games that cooking on Sundays use to be. Also, the fact that the people who were eating the food were not my parents meant that the every dish I made was judged and sometimes the reactions were…. Well lets say they were not pleasant. All I can say is that you live and learn.

I am now in full time employment and cooking now is one of my favourite pass time. I love to cook for my friends and ask people over for food. Also, cooking is part of my ‘me time’. It is normally the time when I am alone and free to think things out. In one of my earlier blogs, I had written about how I started thinking about team work while I was cooking at my friends place. ( http://bizcovering.com/management/team-work-2/ ). I am glad that cooking is now back to being my favourite pastime and not part of my daily chore. I have heard people say that make your hobby your profession and you wont feel like you are working. Not sure if I agree with that. I think if you make your hobby your profession, you have not only robbed yourself a hobby but destroyed the immense pleasure of doing something for fun. What do my good readers have to say about that??

I am posting the picture of the two dishes I cooked for my housemate and friends who came over for dinner on last sunday. The one on the left is Butter Chicken and the one on the right is Mutter Paneer. The definitely looked the part and my friends did say that they liked it, hope it was not the just a friendly courtesy and it was good . Will provide the receipies if I get any requests for the same

Link to archives: http://www.triond.com/users/hbkhrushikesh

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No food ( vegetables or otherwise ) were hurt in the making of this blog. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely co-incidental even if my cooking had any part to play in the course of events!!!

Team Work

Typical definition is to work with the members of your team to achieve the goals set out for the team.
How and when did this definition become "follow the orders, dont think. Do the small tasks, dont question, comply"!! I even attended a management course that were teaching "The Art of Coersion"!!! Do we really need to manage our team mates to be a good team??

I was watching my mates kid play with his new friends. The kids are about 4 years old give or take. My mate has an open plan kitchen and dining area, so we were constantly watching the kids as we cooked the dinner. If you have 5 kids together it is fun to watch them play, but something caught my attention about this group. The kids were meeting each other for the first time ( there were my mates neighbours kids and they have recently moved houses ) and yet within five minutes there were all so engrossed in what they were doing that if someone would have entered the room 15 min down the line, they would have thought that these kids knew each other since they were born!! It was almost magical how they laughed, shrieked, disagreed, pushed and yet thoroughly enjoyed building the lego castle. As much as I enjoyed watching the kids play, I couldn’t stop myself from drifting away ( yes the cooking suffered as a result and my mate wasn’t happy that he had to say everything 2 or 3 times!! ). Watching those kids play, I thought to myself we are naturally tuned to get along with each other even though we may not necessarily be each other best mates and how team work comes naturally ( even to kids, who taught them!!?? ). So this naturally opens up many a questions… why is teamwork so hard when we grow up? What changes happen? How is something that comes to us so naturally, then has to be taught to us at a later stage in our life??

The number of ‘management courses’ telling us the importance of team work and how to get along with people ( Please don’t shout at your colleagues!! Yes this was the management advice given to us at a management course that I recently attended. I have written about it in one of my earlier blogs http://bizcovering.com/management/leadership-lead-by-example-naaaah/ ). Infact give examples how you have excelled in team work by far takes the biscuit as far as questions at the interviews are concerned!!

I have already written about how I think good leaders are not the ones who lead by example but the ones who create the right environment for the ‘stars’ in their group to come up with solutions. I believe it is the easiest way to not only get the job done ( not be called a meddlesome boss ) but also the best way to let the next generation of leaders rise organically from the group. On similar lines, I don’t agree with the modern day definition of team work. Modern day definition of team work very much follows on the lines of modern day definition of leader. Both have their origins in the top down approach to management followed by the military. In active combat, creativity kills, and more importantly can kill your mates and hence a very strict chain of command is maintained and implemented. However, we don’t have life threatening situations in our day to day and hence to follow the rules set out for battalion in active combat situations is insane!

Team should be all about feeding of each others strengths. Each person is unique and has strong points that need to be leveraged. Active team work does not mean that you do things together, but its more about getting out others way so that they can be at their creative best! Humans are by design very creative beings and modern day teamwork ( i.e. do the task, make sure everyone else is doing the task and look happy while doing it! ) just kills this creativity. Instead of letting people be creative they are asked to be ‘part of a team’ i.e. follow the orders don’t think! For me being part of a team is to do your job to the best of your ability and ideally get great pleasure out of doing it. And this only happens when there is a since of achievement attached to it and when you do it based on your own vocation. This will not only mean that you will be contributing to the teams cause ( the task gets done! ) no one has to shout at any one, and everyone gets to do things the way it suits them. Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating that people do whatever they want ( this is where the role of leader is crucial, he is the big picture man, and although should allow people to be creative in their spheres of influence, but always makes sure that the ‘team’ is progressing with the task at hand ). To sum up the article, I think passive team work is much more beneficial to the individuals as it allows them to express themselves even though they are still part of the team and are doing their bit to get the task at hand done.

The chain of thoughts that originated from watching the kids play took its toll on the turkey in the oven L. We ended up eating a smoked turkey ( not by choice ) but it was lovely J. Bad day for teamwork for the team of my friend and I ( we were told about how bad we were over and over again throughout the evening by his wife and my date ). But hopefully, next time, I will be at my creative best and try and do my bit of cooking with a smile on my face, knowing that I have people around me who will still eat it at the end of the day J

Link to archives: http://www.triond.com/users/hbkhrushikesh

Disclaimer: The author avoided shouting at anyone ( including himself ) while writing this article. As usual all the characters and incidences mentioned are part of the authors imagination and any resemblance to any person living or dead ( or any turkeys! ) is pure co-incidence as there is no chance that that turkey dinner can ever be made that way again ( even by the team of my friend and I ).

Rules: Are They Made Just So That They Can be Broken??

Who makes them? Who follows them? Why? Should they be followed? Should they be there in the first place?? Are they there to make me happy? And if not then why are they there??

The other night I was talking to two of my friends and boy are they into their gossip ( if you are reading this, you know who you are :p ). There were times during the evening, sitting right at that table I had the feeling of being completely by myself!! The best part of the evening was, when one of the friends said that she knows something about people in group but she is not willing to share!! If any thing it made that part of the gossip more interesting for all the people at the table and my friend eventually ended up spilling the beans! Now in general my attitude towards gossip is, if I don’t know it it doesn’t hurt i.e. I like to be blissfully unaware of the ‘situations’ so that I can make my own unbiased decisions when I deal with those people. All gossip does is creates prejudice. I believe people behaviour and response to ‘situations’ changes as the situation and involved people change. Most people that I come across in my day to day life seem to get along well with me ( ofcourse some do get on my nerves, but then again, if I don’t see them for a few days, I am ok when I meet them next. Yes, time is the best medicine again mildly irritating personalities. ) and with eachother. So not knowing the gossip makes my life easier and happier.

I have digressed from the topic for today’s blog, but I had to get my view on gossip across to my readers. Coming back to the point, my friends were discussing how certain social rules were broken etc. ( u get the gist, it was gossip! J….. ). This brings me to the first question, rules: are they meant to be broken?? This is a very interesting subject area, and a very grey area at that. Cause whenever I hear about social rules being broken by someone ( I am going to spare my readers the gory details of which rules were broken how etc. ), I always tend to sit back and ask myself, was there any rule in the first place? Are there any rules in general? Well ofcoruse there is one universal rule that you don’t harm any one physically and we actually have laws preventing that from happening. But what about things that are not covered by law? Which brings me to the question are there any rules in the first place? I had written in one of my previous blogs (http://athingforcars.com/autos/life-on-the-road-vs-life/ ) about how people tend to obey the laws in general but come up with their own set of rules on the go. And the interesting thing is the laws have universal appeal but the rules can change drastically amongst societies!

One of EPLs famous star lets call him WR and his ‘escapades’ ( now that I think of it infidelity seems to be the appropriate word ) come to my mind. No laws were broken, only social rules were disobeyed and yet his wife seemed to be ok with it! ( lets not go into the details of why …. Reasons etc…. that might be a topic for one of the future blogs ). This ( and many others… I can spend a whole day writing on them!! ) to me was clearly a case of where rules were broken and the culprit got away, scot free!!! And if anything the wife got sympathy.

I think I am still not clear on what I think about this topic and probably never will be. Infact I think my confusion is amply displayed in the muddled musings that this blog is. But its such a grey area!! I have since asked myself many times over, will I be ok with breaking the rules? Do I actually follow rules? Should there be any rules?? Isnt being happy the only aim in life? In fact in one of my previous blogs ( http://athingforcars.com/autos/life-on-the-road-vs-life/ ) I had said that I don’t follow any rules cause there aren’t any to be flowed! My good readers what do you feel about this topic??

Link to archives: http://www.triond.com/users/hbkhrushikesh

Discalimer: All view and opinions ( and indeed gossip!! ) in this blog are a figment of the authors over zealous imagination. Any resemblance to any person living or dead ( only exception being a twin sibling! ) is purely co – incidental. No laws or indeed rules were broken in the making of this blog :p

Charity: To Do or Not to Do??

What is Charity? Are you a bad person if you are not doing charity?? Are you responsible for the deaths of thousands of people because of the everyday consumer products that you buy? Also, are there people around you that inspire you in any way and one day( you hope) you will be the better person for the experience and time that you have spent with them?

I was watching a documentary called ‘Blood in the Mobile’ ( http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blood-in-the-Mobile-DVD/dp/B005EQKJHO, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1763194/ ). It is about the mining of coal tan in D.R.C. The tone of the documentary ( and indeed the content ) was very serious. The fact that the people in the Walikele and Busie mining regions are risking their lives everyday to get the minerals out of the earth cannot be disputed and also the fact that they are stuck between the rock and the hard place i.e. work for a living and be constantly threatened by the local warlords. But by the end of the documentary I was left feeling a bit aggrieved cause the documentary eneded by blaming me ( yes me personally and all the people who have eve bought a mobile phone! ) for all that’s wrong in D.R.C.! Now at the best of times hurting someone is not one of the possible options that I give any consideration, but to be blamed for killing people just because i like my mobile phone was a bit over the top and I was almost furious at how the person making the documentary ended up alienating me ( the viewer ) instead of garnering empathy! Now don’t get me wrong her, I am not for one instance supporting the killing anyone, not in Congo, not anywhere around the globe. Infact in one of my previous blogs ( http://computersight.com/operating-systems/windows/co-driver ) I had written about how the thought of actually hurting someone brings about such a drastic personality change in me. But is the solution to this crisis putting and end to use of mobile phones? or for that matter blaming people for whats happening in Congo?? On similar lines. I hate when the environmental groups blame people for travelling by planes and show pictures of ( sad ) polar bears on broken icebergs etc. whats the solution? Not using planes for travel any more?? I for one have always believed that one should try hard to be not a part of the problem but a part of the solution! I think its never the question that is interesting its the part where you try to find the answer that is interesting. ( the phrase ‘interesting question’ normally means that answer to this question is / will be interesting )

So is charity the solution to this or similar crisis ?? I think my answer on that issue is a firm no!! I believe in the saying ‘if you give a man a fish he does not go hungry on that day, but if you teach him how to fish he doenst go hungry forever!! I think if charity was the answer then the amount of money that has been chucked at African continent ( actually any part of the world ) should have started showing some sign of change. Infact the thing that really gets on my nerves is the charity dinners of events for charity where the well to do ( I think I can include myself in that lot as I don’t have to constantly worry about my food, clothing or shelter ) come to have a good time and go away with the feeling of ‘helping’ the poor . On the same note I am not sure how I feel about the multinational charity corporations but I will leave that as a topic for another blog.

I have recently met a few people in Belfast who are volunteering their time at various events and let me quickly add that these are not music festivals etc. I don’t know these people that well ( if you are reading this you know who you are ). They have already made their mark on my conscience. They have really for the first time made me question how I use my free time and made me actually think about ‘charity’. They have made me question the importance of a Saturday morning ‘I am not doing anything today’ FB update vs I spent two hours this morning working for xyz cause. My heart is still not in the right place, and for not I still cant bring myself to donate time to any of the causes. Any action that I take now in the spur of the moment will be artifical cause I am not doing it because I have convinced myself that I am up for it, but because its socially accepted as a nice thing to do. I hope the good sied of me will eventually trump the lazy one ( dont we all always hope for that?? ) and I will start devoting some of my time to causes where I think I can genuinely make a diffence. Fingers crossed!

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Co-driver

Why dont co-drivers understand that driving feels a lot easier when you are not driving!! What is it about being a co-driver that makes them so nervy? Not all drivers are rash and yet most co-drivers are :p.

In one of my earlier blogs (http://bit.ly/uXB0v3 ), I had said that I am a very bad co-driver. Let me begin by explaining what I mean by co-driver: In a non-racing environment, any person sitting on the seat next to the drivers seat is a co-driver ( its normally a co-navigator in a race and he / she plays an important part in the grand sceme of things ). I will put my hand up and confess straight away that I am one of the worst co-drivers around. I cannot sit still on the seat and not talk to the driver. I have to give my opinion on what they did right or wrong during driving even though no one ever asked for it. I make it clear that I like the driver to err on the side of caution and dangerous driving is not only appreciated but detested. To think of it, I am amazed that people actually let me sit next to them J

What is it about being on the co-drivers seat that brings about such a drastic change in my personality? In my day to day transactions with people, although I am assertive with my opinions, I am more than happy to let people make / influence most of my decisions for me. Infact, in most day to day life situations, I hardly have any favourites ( e.g. no favourite food / drink, dress code etc. you get the idea ) and have a can do / will do approach to life. I must however quickly add that I do follow zero tolerance policy towards certain things ( E.g. Drug abuse ). So why is being a co-driver so different than any other thing in life?

I think my behaviour as a co-driver is pretty much a reflection of my general attitude towards life. I am not risk averse. Far from it actually! However, the one thing that I cant live with is knowing that I have in any manner or way changed someone’s life for the worse. The guilt associated with that, I think, will never let me live a normal life. In general when I drive, I am very conscious of the speed limits and the general rules of safety. I am not the best of drivers you can find on road but I am pretty sure I am one of the safest. It may not sound exciting but it is what it is. Am I afraid of speed? Does it scare me? I don’t think so. In a way, yes I am afraid of speed cause I cant stop thinking of what might happen if I hit a pedestrian and the thought of actually being responsible for someone’s death always acts as a ‘speed camera’. I think when I am a co-driver, the fact that I am not in a position to control the events to follow in someway makes me uneasy to such an extent that I almost start issuing disclaimers to the drivers!!! So much for a confidence building co-driver. Its not that I have no confidence in the drivers ability, but it’s the notion of not being in control of my fate that really brings about the change in my personality.

Leadership: Lead by Example .... Naaaah

Leadership status is aspired by many but achieved by few. It is often referred to as the poisoned chalise. What makes a good leader? Is a good leader the best and most capable person on his team? If not should he be the leader? Is being best a necessary criteria for rising to the top??

I was recently at a management course, and the phrase “Leading by example” was heard many times over when the talk would head towards the topic of leadership. The word charisma was used many times along with words like inspiring etc. I think you get the gist. Now management exercise ( and don’t even get me started on management studies i.e. the likes of MBAs etc. ) are such a drag at the best of times but the fact that these people were being paid £500 an hour made me want to kill someone for thinking anyone can be worth that much money! Coming back to the point, what is a good leader like??

Its one of those classic gotcha type of interview question right? And we get all sorts of box standard answers which are not that dissimilar to the one that I listed at the start of this blog. I think the whole management exercise was a fools errand and the best part of the week long course was the free Wifi!!!! However I have to give them this, they did for the first time in a long….. long time made me question myself about what I thought about being a leader.

I am a man with firm opinions and I am not afraid of defending my thoughts. I never feel the need to justify my thoughts as they are my thoughts and I reserve the right to make my own choices. This does of course mean that in management parlance, I am not ‘accommodating’. Ofcourse my career choices have made it easier over the years to avoid any confrontations as being an expert in a field means that people take you on your word. I don’t look forward to being a leader, but then again I very much question the legitimacy of the current definition of leader as inspiring, leading by example kind of person.

If the leader is someone who inspires the team and leads by example, for me he and his team are both approaching the situation in the wrong manner. Why should a leader lead by example?? Or actually why does a team expect the leader to lead by example? I think the origin of this logic lies in the sporting arena, where the phrase captains performance is often used. I personally think if the captain is the best man in the team ( leads by example ) the team is already beyond its peak cause they have identified who is the best man and level of performance will never rise beyond the best mans performance! Infact more often then not it is not the best man in the team that becomes a successful captain.

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Self Made Man

Self Made Men Vs Born with a Silver Spoon.

I had earlier written about a book that I am reading right now ‘Tanamera’. One of the central charachters in the book, Grandpa Dexter is a ’self made man’ i.e. someone who has made his fortune during his lifetime ( Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Dhirubhai Ambani etc. ). Now this got me thinking as it is one of the most commonly used terms / phrase ( and one of the most commonly heard around dinner tables??) to describe a man with some money ( or a woman!!! not trying to be sexist atall….. its the language…. ENGLISH thats to be blamed here not me … and this is not a disclaimer.. just a fact! )

Whats it about a self made man that commands so much attention??? Rich people in general tend to attract attention towards themselves ( not always for good reasons ). Infact in Britain the celebrity culture is so over the top ( celebrities invariably are rich or fashionably poor ….. ) that reporters often spy on them and follow them everywhere. The likes of Katie Price, Kerry Katona are classic examples of celebrites who are self made millionaires or fashionably ‘poor’ and whose every move is earmarked by the press! I have my own theories about what makes self made men the centre of attention ( perhaps will elaborate on this in the blogs to follow ), however I would love to hear my readers opinions on this topic. Surely, most of us have come across someone in our lifetime who has a ‘rags to riches’ story that is inspiring and at the same time educational.

Reading the first two paragraphs of this blog, it may seem that I have a natural inclination towards liking self made men, but nothing can be further away from truth! I personally believe that the life of riches i.e. being born with the proverbial ’silver spoon’ is much better. Now I know this may not be a very polular thing to say but it is what I believe none the less. The reason I have this opinion is that personally if I had the option I would never work ( I am not implying that I dont enjoy my work, for me it is a means to ensuring a greater joy and I dont enjoy the luxury of being born rich ). What I am trying to say here is, getting up every morning at 7.00 am and coming home at 6.00 pm mon-fri is not the ideal way of spending life. Although work may be good fun and the job is thoroughly enjoyable, it is the life from 6.30 – 11.00 ( or later … ahem .. ahem…. ) that one really enjoys / looks forward to every day, not to mention the weekends!!! Most people worry about debts, marriage, mortgage, car loans, kids education, pension …. good future etc. when infact the only thing that should be a cause of concern is the quality of life at that moment. Its not the future that anyone should be worried about, its the past! Cause when we look back at our life we always regret the time that was lost ( and this is often what you hear people say, that if only they could go back and do things differently!) Can any one ever be happy if in the distant future they look back at their life and cant say to themselves ( and indeed their grand children :0 ) that they had a blast and that it was good while it lasted. NO REGRETS!!!! Its a hard thing to achieve, but I would rather die fighting than broker peace for a ’stable’ future cause the future can always be changed, but the past well thats a line in the stone

My good readers, as always I would love to know your opinions on the topic. Please do leave comments if you feel its worthwhile. Anonymous comments are also welcome.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog are a figment of authors imagination. They do not endorse or oppose anyones / organisations beliefs. Any resembelance to any person non-living or undead is purely co – incidental.